Frequently asked Questions and General Etiquette Guide

Wedding Invitations Etiquette
 
Typically, wedding invitation etiquette requires that you make sure that guests know the who, what, when, and where of the event. In addition, your wedding invitations convey the formality and tone of your event through the weight and design of the wedding stationery and font style-naturally, the more formal your wedding, the more formal the invitation.

When should I order my wedding stationery?
 
We recommend at least 4 months before the wedding date. But don’t worry if you have left it later than this because we ship the majority of our orders within 3-5 days.

How many invitations should I order?
 
You may have set a limit on the number of people that you wish to invite to the wedding and reception. We recommend that you order a few spare invitations to allow for mistakes, to invite replacement guests if anyone cannot attend and to keep as souvenirs. Remember, if you need to order more invitations later, they will be charged as a new order, with a minimum quantity of 20.

What wording should I choose?
 
We offer a selection of wording options to suit different wedding styles. You may choose one of these standard verses or write one of your own. Please bear in mind that some of these standard wording options have space for you to write your guests’ names and others do not. Make sure that you choose an appropriate wording if you wish to write your guests’ names on the invitation.

When do I send out the invitations?
 
Ideally, you should send your invitations out 10-12 weeks before the wedding to allow guests to reply

When should the RSVP date be?
 
At least 4 weeks before the wedding date - you cannot finalise the catering or seating arrangements without knowing how many guests have accepted your invitation.

What details do I need on my Order of Service?
 
Entrance & exit music, hymns, prayers, marriage, signing of the register i.e. any and all details you wish to appear. Always check the format and hymns with your clergy before placing your order. We have a vast catalogue of hymns for you to choose from.
Click here to view our Hymn Library.

Can I have raised printing?
 
Some designs are automatically printed with raised print at no extra cost. See information for each individual design range. However, we cannot produce raised print on inserts.

My wedding is getting closer and I am still waiting for some people to respond, what do I do?
 
For those who have not responded, it is perfectly acceptable to call them and ask for a response to your wedding invitation. If someone hasn't responded to your invitation, 1 week past the 'Reply by' date, call him or her and confirm over the phone. To avoid this problem put return postage on your RSVP's, people are much more likely to respond.

Do I need to send invitations to close family members?
 
Send your parents and wedding party invitations, as a keepsake. They don't have to reply.

There isn’t room on the invitation to include all of the information that my guests will need, any advice?
 
Many people need to include a list of local hotels and directions to the venue and other extra information in with their invitations. This is perfectly acceptable and appreciated by your guests. These should be included in everyone's invitation if you so choose to print them. There is plenty of room in all of our invitation envelopes for your added info and we even have a few designs which have wallet features allowing you to neatly store all of your wedding information.

How do I address the Guests of Guests problem?
 
Be clear about whether or not your guests can bring guests of their own, or you might be faced with the awkward situation of having them ask you. If you think someone will be offended then it may be appropriate to just call them and let them know.

Is a backup wedding guest list acceptable?
 
Make sure you have back-up lists ready. Some guests may decline, and it's a good idea to have a second list ready to fill those empty spots as they become available.

What do I do if I don’t want children at my wedding?
 
If you don't want children at your wedding, you have 2 options:

• When addressing your invitations, leave the children's names off it and also don't mention them in the invitation saying we hope that the (# of) of you will be able to join us.
• Have friends and family pass the word around that you don't want children there.

Should I mention my Wedding List in my Invitations?
 
You're not supposed to put registry information on your wedding invitation. It's left up to friends and family to inform everyone. However, you can put gift information on an insert in your wedding invitations. If you have a personal wedding website with info for bridal party and guests (and gift registry info), you can include the link to your website in your wedding invitation.
It is considered rude to put "cash only gifts", or other wording meaning the same thing on the invitation.

I am struggling with my seating plan, I know there is a traditional way of seating the top table but with my family that is not possible, what can I do?
 

• With the top table the rule has changed so often that there isn't one anymore. You and your better half can sit at a raised table with your wedding party below you. You can have your own table with a table on either side of you with your wedding party. You and your husband in the middle of a long table with men on one side and women on the other with the order running boy, girl, boy, girl, it really doesn’t matter who sits where though. Parents and grandparents at the table or not, it's up to you.
• Don't seat battling relatives together.
• So that everyone has a good time, seat teens together, aunts and uncles together, etc. Try seating groups either by their relationship to you or by their ages.
• Use table numbers to help your guests at the weddings so they don’t have to search for their tables.

JUST A FEW RULES FOR THE GUESTS
 

• Don't assume that the couple knows you're coming to their wedding. You must send back your reply card before the "Reply by" date.
• If you have declined an invitation, you are not expected to send a gift.
• If you arrive at the church during the procession, you should wait until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering. Also, don't peek through the doors to watch because you'll be in her photos.
• If you are late for the ceremony, you should walk down an outside aisle and find a seat quickly and quietly.
• If you are of a different faith, you are not required to participate in the rituals, but if you want to that's fine.
• You have to buy the couple a gift.
• The gift should be something that they can both use.
• Many couples that have lived together for a while will not register for gifts. That's because they already have everything they need. In this case, cash in a wedding card is appropriate.
• Guests pay for their own transportation and lodgings.

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
 
Bride's Family

• All Reception Costs
• Church Fees
• Groom's Rings
• Invitations
• Flowers for Church, Bridesmaids and Reception
• Music for Ceremony
• Transportation for Bridal Party
• Gifts for Bridal Party
• Groom's Gift
• Lodging for Bridesmaids, if necessary

Groom's Family

• Bride's Ring
• Clergy Fees
• Bride's Bouquet, Corsages and Boutonnieres
• Rehearsal Dinner
• Transportation for Groomsmen
• Gifts for Groomsmen
• Bride's Gift
• Lodging for Groomsmen, if necessary

Bridal Party

• Your Attire
• The Hen Party
• If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
• Gift for the Couple

Groomsmen

• Your Attire
• The Stag Party
• If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
• Gift for the Couple

STANDARD ANNIVERSARY GIFTS
 
1st Anniversary - Paper
2nd Anniversary - Cotton
3rd Anniversary - Leather
4th Anniversary - Linen
5th Anniversary - Wood
6th Anniversary - Iron
7th Anniversary - Copper or Brass
8th Anniversary - Bronze or Electrical Appliance
9th Anniversary - Pottery
10th Anniversary - Tin or Aluminium
11th Anniversary - Steel
12th Anniversary - Silk
13th Anniversary - Lace
14th Anniversary - Ivory
15th Anniversary - Crystal
20th Anniversary - China
25th Anniversary - Silver
30th Anniversary - Pearls
35th Anniversary - Coral or Jade
40th Anniversary - Rubies or Garnets
45th Anniversary - Sapphires
50th Anniversary - Gold
55th Anniversary - Emeralds
60th Anniversary – Diamonds
So the groom has got 60 years of married life to wait until he has to buy you another Diamond. Here at Paper Themes we think a break in tradition may be in order!!!

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